The Voice of Truth

Pandora radio is my exercise buddy..it keeps me company and takes my mind off the pain in my feet and hips as I stride along on my walking days. Before I left the house to hit the neighborhood streets, I was near panic level; near tears; not understanding why it is taking so much time to receive the long-awaited letter from the officials in China regarding our adoption. As you all know by now, I don't "wait" easily. So, as I began my walk, I tried to pray over the songs that were playing through my iPhone ear buds. I cried out to God and ask him to please give me some sign that would let me know that everything was okay...that our paperwork had not been misplaced at the Adoption Center in China (like it had been with Anna's adoption). I just needed to HEAR from God today!

I was about 12 minutes into my walk, when the song came on...the song that spoke to my heart. It reminded me of Who is in control of everything with this adoption. Casting Crowns was singing in my ears and resounding in my heart. I realized that the waves of emotion that I had been feeling were taking over me...they were crying out to me and reminding me that I had failed. The lyrics, "Oh what I would do to have the kind of faith that it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in," made me ask myself about what it would be like to actually step out of a boat...to know without any doubt that Jesus would be there to hold my hand; that he would not allow me to sink and drown. Could I take that step?

The human part of me wants to worry about all the what-ifs. What if we can't travel until December when the prices of airline tickets skyrocket? What if we can't afford to take the girls with us? (They will be heart-broken!) What if Wiley and Rachel can't go with us?---who will help us keep up with three little ones in a sea of people who resemble each of them? We are budgeting so carefully, but this adoption has become so expensive...What if we run out of money? What if...what if...what if?????

The enemy speaks in doubts, failures and brings fearful thoughts to our minds. He wants us to fail in big ways--esp when he sees us doing things that might result in reflecting Glory to an all-deserving Heavenly Father.

As I topped the most difficult incline of my walk, I felt a peace come over me. I knew I'd come home and write something on this blog about faith, and how God speaks to us at just the right times....he knows when we are ready to hear Him.

I'm choosing to believe that this adoption is for His Glory. I'm choosing to listen and believe the Voice of Truth!